LOSING A SPOUSE: THREE TO SIX MONTHS AFTER LOSS
March 19, 2021
By now most of the big stuff is probably done. The thank you notes have been written and mailed. The marker or head stone has been placed or you’ve found a place for the urn. You’ve probably filed for the life insurance, and perhaps you’ve even begun to clean out his closet.
You may be wondering, what have I missed?
- Have you changed the titles to the car?
- Put the deed to the home in your name?
- Have you changed the utilities and cable service into your name?
- Is your medical power of attorney up to date?
- Have you updated your estate plan or will?
- Have you spoken to an accountant or tax expert about any tax consequences associated with gifts you have made or increased allocations from IRA or investments?
- How about you? What are you doing to take care of you?
- Are you up-to-date with your health and dental care?
- Are you eating well?
- Are you learning to cook or have you gotten someone to mow the lawn?
- Have you had lunch or dinner with a friend?
- Have you done something fun? A movie? Golf? A ballgame?
Scientists tell us there is a hand/mind connection. Doing things with our hands actually increases our sense of well-being. Even simple chores such as washing the dishes, preparing your meal, or even making your bed help to provide purpose and a natural routine. Why not step outside of your box and try something creative that you used to enjoy doing or have thought about trying? Don’t discount the value of a craft, woodworking or art project.
Finally, see people. Human contact is vital to your new normal. If your friends and family aren’t calling you, then call them. Look for a movie you would like to see, a museum you would like to visit, or a restaurant you would like to try and ask someone to join you.
Schrader, Aragon & Jacoby has been serving the Cheyenne, Wyoming community for over 90 years. Their caring and professional funeral directors are ready to assist families with the arrangement of funeral, burial, memorial and cremation services. They are proud to be locally owned and operated, participating in the community and giving back to the neighbors and friends who support them.
The storm passes and we are once again caught up in our love/hate relationship with insurance. Typically, we pay and pay and then we pray we don’t ever need to file a claim. No one wants to have their house burn down or blow away. But, it is also hard to write that check every month. Most folks do so because they are afraid not to.
Three hundred and sixty five days a year, twenty-four hours a day, rain or shine, hot or cold, from the year 1776 to present day, they’re serving our country. They are our veterans and November 11th is the official day that we honor and thank them each year.
So what can you do to show your appreciation? Here are a few ideas:
It’s a question we all hear almost every day. “Hi, how are you?” But it has a different feel when you have recently lost someone you love. It just feels heavier. So how do you deal with that question?
It may be tempting to just sort of brush it off saying something along the lines of, “Oh, I’m fine” or “I’m doing ok.” It’s easy to go back into before your loss mode. But, are you fine? How do you get back to being truly fine?
Read this blog even though you don’t want to. Especially if you or your parent is over 65 or living alone. Age Associated Financial Vulnerability is a real thing and it affects intelligent, independent people. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau puts the cost of elder financial exploitation as high as $36 billion a year.
“I was very surprised at my reaction. Seeing John in his casket wasn’t something I was looking forward to. His daughter (from his first marriage) really wanted an open casket. So, I agreed. Mostly just to remain on good terms with my stepdaughter. He looked so peaceful. He had a Mona Lisa smile. I am so glad I didn’t stick to what he and I had talked about. The opportunity for that last good good-bye ended up meaning the world to me… and his daughter.”
A husband and father of four dies suddenly. He languishes in the morgue at the coroner’s office for weeks because no one knows what to do and no one is empowered to act. The only thing the kids and grandchildren can agree on is that their father did not want to spend a lot of money on a funeral.
Every year on June 6, we recognize the anniversary of the Normandy Invasion during World War II. The invasion by the Allied Forces established a foothold on the shores of France; and was the start of the Allied advance into the interior which eventually lead to victory in Europe and liberty for the millions of people living under the tyranny of Adolf Hitler. The costly battle was the most important allied victory in the second world war.
What is embalming?
Embalming is the art of slowing the decomposition of the human body. The embalming process is carried out in a clean environment, and proceeds in a fashion similar to medical procedures.
Funerals, like everything from paper towels to cars, come in cheap and expensive. It’s not as easy as you might think to figure out what qualifies as cheap when it comes to funerals. This is due, in part, because we don’t all have the same idea of what a “funeral” is. For some folks, a funeral includes a gathering of friends and family the evening before, a trip to the church with the body, a graveside committal service and a luncheon for all attendees following the burial.
Cost is important, but it’s not the whole story. Take a look at the premium, the amount you will pay each month, how long will you pay that amount? It is not uncommon to pay until you are 100 or even older. Will you be able to pay that amount each month as you age? What if you live to be 100? Will the benefit stay in place? How much will you have paid in by that time? It’s not unheard of for people to end up paying more than they will receive in death benefits. Look at the coverage. How much will be paid on your death? Most policies are for a fixed amount your family will receive when you die. This is the death benefit. How soon will you be covered for the full amount? Sometimes you will need to make payments for as long as two years before you would be eligible for the full death benefit. Often the death benefit stays the same over the course of your lifetime. So, as you age and the price of funerals increases, your policy is at risk of falling short and not providing your family with enough to cover the cost of your funeral. Before you sign anything, call your local funeral home. Ask for an appointment with the funeral professional who takes care of advance funeral planning . When you meet with this individual be straight forward. Share your financial situation. See what the funeral home has to offer. Most of the time the funeral home’s funding program is a little more per month but you make payments for a much shorter period of time. So, you pay much less in the long run. If you are in good health you will most likely be covered as soon as the policy is issued. Some funeral homes even offer a cost guarantee which means you have no worries about the rising cost of funerals. It’s always worth the extra time to be sure you are getting the best final expense coverage you can afford. The one that will really be there for your family when it’s needed.
